Ask a Coach - Leaning on Loved Ones

Most friendships, relationships aren't gonna be 50-50. That's just not how the world works. What are some ways that you can be present in this friendship that's not just about you (calm music) and what you have going on right now? Maybe you could just be direct and just ask the question and say, "Hey, I know I'm coming with a lot. How does that make you feel?" (transition whooshing) (bell ringing) Hi, I'm Neca and welcome back to "Ask A Coach." So Jonathan says, "I'm going through a very difficult breakup with my wife. I have a dear friend who has been there for me and shown me a lot of kindness and compassion. I'm conscious that I'm not in a good space. Therefore, there is an element of negativity I bring to our conversations. While it is nice to have someone to listen and hold space for me, how do I ensure that I'm not overwhelming her with my grief and sadness?" First of all, Jonathan, definitely acknowledging that breakups are very difficult and the fact that you do have a friend to talk to is super important. Because when we're going through these things, we want other people to be there for us and to hear us. We wanna just be heard and known and seen. What I would do as a coach, one, is to help you brainstorm what are some ways that you can be present in this friendship that's not just about you and what you have going on right now? Maybe you could just be direct and just ask the question and say, "Hey, I know I'm coming with a lot. How does that make you feel? Because I wanna make sure that we can share." Most friendships, relationships aren't gonna be 50-50. It's just not how the world works. Your friend probably understands where you are, but I think it's also important to be a little bit more direct and to have that conversation. I hope that helps, Jonathan. Thank you....