Ask a Therapist - Grieving During the Holidays

Just being able to start from a place of self-compassion and acknowledge, actually, I'm going through a lot right now, and I can't handle going out to the office Christmas party, or whatever it might be. That needs to be okay that you need that space right now. (objects whooshing and jingling) Hi, I am Ryan. I'm a therapist with Headspace, and welcome back to "Ask a Therapist." Our next question comes from Denzel. Denzel has a question about relationships and grief. The question is, "My parent recently passed away and I'm feeling overwhelmed at the thought of the upcoming holiday season. I don't have the energy to celebrate or to put on a happy face. Do you have any guidance on how to cope with grief during the holidays?" Well, Denzel, thank you so much for this question, and I can tell this is a really hard time for you, so thank you for acknowledging that you're going through this. I hope it helps you, but I can guarantee you that it helps other people that are out there. The holidays can be stressful enough on their own, but when you're also navigating a heavy emotion like grief at the same time, it can become extra stressful. So the place I would start would just be in self-compassion and that if you're expecting yourself to go through any celebrations or put on happy faces for people, or if you're getting any pressure like that from other people, just being able to start from a place of self-compassion and acknowledge, actually, I'm going through a lot right now and I can't handle going out to the office Christmas party or whatever it might be. That needs to be okay that you need that space right now. That being said, if we're talking about how to get through grief during the holidays, especially if we've recently lost someone, in this case, a parent, I talk about when I'm working with people on grief, what you want that relationship with that person to look like even after they're gone. So, do you have traditions? Do you want to talk about that person? Do you want to pray to that person? Do you want to journal to that person? Feeling like you can still have a relationship with that person, feeling like you can honor them, especially during the holidays when there are so many traditions going on with families already, can help you start to normalize what it's going to look like in future holidays without that person. Being able to be intentional about maybe creating new traditions for yourself or showing yourself what kind of relationship you can still have with this person even after they're gone puts the control a little bit more on your side and you get to decide, "Well, this is what I want Christmas to be like now that my parent's not here. I want to tell stories about them. I want to make sure I...