Naming Grief

This past year has created a deep awareness of the different types of losses that we experienced and have internalized, whether they be physical or symbolic. Today I'll be talking about why it's so important to name those losses in order to better understand our needs and take care of our overall health. Let's get started. (harmonious music) Losses tend to fall into two buckets, physical loss and symbolic loss. With physical losses, we usually are able to name them because they involve something tangible, a loss that is seen. It could be the death of a loved one or the physical loss of a house, perhaps due to a fire or an eviction. Symbolic losses, on the other hand, are ones that we can't see. They're intangible in nature, and we often don't even recognize them as losses. For the past year, we've been grieving the loss of the known knowns. You may have experienced the loss of community in some form or another, the loss of control or safety, or perhaps a loss of income, (cash register chimes) and perhaps one of the largest and most encompassing losses, the loss of identity. The challenging part about symbolic losses is that we don't have rituals or built-in support systems for them, so oftentimes they can accumulate if we don't have the language to name them and then seek support for them. This accumulation can trigger the same grief response as a physical loss. You see, grief is a full body experience. We pack all of our grief and trauma and feelings into our bodies. Now let's dive into a few strategies you can implement to start addressing grief and navigating life post-loss. (angelic music) First, it's important to acknowledge that you are grieving. Again, we can't heal from the things that we don't name, so we have to be able to name them. This also means changing our own expectations of ourselves, recognizing that we're in this unchartered space so we can practice self-compassion. Next, identify the life transitions where the grief occurred. We don't have to know all the nuances, but again, we need to name them. It might be transitioning in and out of employment, moving to a new city, or even changes in the family structure. For example, someone moved out of the house, parents separated, or someone died, then go back further and think about your loss history. For me, my grandmother died the week that I was born. That event changed so much for me. It changed my first name, it changed my father's availability as a parent and as a spouse, and so I walked into a world of loss and didn't even know it, yet I inherited it. I also ask people to reflect on what types of support they've received around that loss. Who gave you support? What did that support look like? In hindsight, what support do you feel like you actually needed then? Do you remember any conversations about grief?...