Building Self-Confidence

Sometimes we place a lot of conditions on our sense of confidence, like: I'll only be good enough when I do this. Or if I only had that, then I'll feel better about myself. And as long as those conditions exist, we'll never quite feel like we're enough. Unconditional confidence is that unwavering trust and acceptance of ourselves. Unwavering meaning unshakable. No matter what the circumstances, we can still see, feel, and believe in our gifts, abilities, and talents or even just who we are. Even when we make mistakes or fail, we can learn to see these moments as opportunities for growth and learning and less as flaws in our character, but it's easier said than done. So in this exercise, we'll ask ourselves a reflection question, and you'll notice that the question is asked in second person; this is meant to stop the mind from thinking of the perfect answer, because what's most important here is the feeling. So let's give this a try. Take a moment to just get comfortable. You can be sitting upright or lying down, whatever feels right for you. The eyes can be open or closed. And then just taking a moment to notice any sounds around you in your space. Now taking three big, deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Softening the eyebrows, the jaw, the shoulders, and continuing to scan down the body. Noticing where you're holding on to any tension or tightness. Now gently guiding the focus to the breath; feeling that rising and falling sensation in the body. Following each inhale as it turns into an exhale. And now asking yourself kindly and curiously: In this moment, can you accept yourself as you are? And noticing what happens in the mind and body. What begins to appear? Any feelings or sensations? And not thinking about the answer but just allowing any feelings to arise. Asking yourself this question takes courage, and it's this courage that creates a sense of confidence. So remembering to breathe, and maybe asking yourself this question again: In this moment, can you accept yourself as you are? Maybe placing a hand over your heart and just continuing to breathe; noticing what feelings arise and also knowing that there's no right or wrong answer here. Noticing when the mind wanders; gently guiding it back. Reminding yourself of that question. And meeting whatever feelings arise with the breath. Continuing to breathe in and breathe out. And when you're ready, taking a deep breath, and on the exhale, slowly and gently opening the eyes and just pausing here for a moment. When I think of what it means to be confident, I think of the grounded and immovable presence of a mountain. Despite the weather, a mountain remains firm and solid, and these qualities are qualities that we can embody to help us cultivate that sense of unconditional confidence. No matter the circumstances we may find ourselves in, we can learn to stay...