Reconciling With the Past

Finding a comfortable place to sit on a cushion on the floor or in a chair, gently close your eyes and bring your attention to the direct sensory experience of your breath, noticing the cool air touching your inner nostrils. Breathing in, aware of breathing in. Breathing out, aware of breathing out. Now bring awareness to the direct sensory experience of the body. Letting go of how you'd like this body to be. letting go of what this body used to be like. Letting go of all thoughts, ideas, and concepts about the body. Instead, bring your attention to the sensations of the body. Can you sense directly the energetic qualities of the body? Warmth or coolness. Firmness or softness. Stillness or movement. This is the direct experience of the body in the here and now. Pause and allow this direct experience to be felt, letting go of any need for it to be different. The body is like this now. Whether pleasant or unpleasant, it's okay. Relax and allow it to be okay as it is. Awareness is open and kind, curious and expansive. What's it like to be of this age right now? No longer young, and yet not too old to dream. What are some dreams not yet realized? Allow yourself this reflection. Go back in time and see what emerges. What dreams remain to be seen? What stories remain to be told? What are some regrets over projects not finished? Remorse over relationships that did not end well? What are you still carrying in your heart? Everything has a beginning, middle and end. When something stays in our heart and doesn't end, it means there's an attachment. It means we haven't accepted it's ending. It may also mean unnecessary pain and energy that is draining us because we're wrapped up in something that cannot be otherwise. Feel into this grief, this tug. Allow the tension, the tightness to be experienced in the body. Wanting something that cannot be. Sadness. Anger. Disappointment. Tears of fear and loss. Let the sensations flow. Flow and metabolize. If tears come, let them be, let them move. Forgive yourself. Forgive others for what could not be. It takes good conditions of soil, sunshine, and water for the lettuce to grow. We don't blame the lettuce if it doesn't grow well, so don't blame yourself. There are circumstances beyond your control. You did the best you could, and they did the best they could. Let that be okay. In letting go, space is created for the present moment to be free and open. Can you feel that? When letting go happens, space opens up. Perhaps there is room now for touching into the simple wonders of being alive. In your mind's eyes, see the single wild dandelion flower growing in the crack of the cement sidewalk. A resilient, beautiful manifestation, despite the harsh conditions of a concrete sidewalk. And can you see the big blue sky now that has been through dark...