How to Let Go of a Relationship

Hi, I'm Nedra Glover Tawwab, a licensed therapist and New York Times bestselling author. I specialize in relationships and setting boundaries, so I've partnered with Headspace to show you how to navigate some of the trickiest relationships in life, the ones with your family. (bright music) Changing someone's role in your life is never easy, especially if it's a family member. You're probably watching this episode because you're wondering, "Is this a situation I need to get out of, or is this a situation I need to work through?" Deciding to end a relationship is very hard. When you notice that you are physically or mentally impacted by a relationship, you may be at the point of having to make a difficult decision that could be healthy for you. Sometimes we get depressed, we get really sad, we start to notice a physical response to being around certain people. Maybe we have stomach aches. Maybe we start sweating. Maybe our heart rate increases. When you get to that point, it is okay to leave. (upbeat music) When I became a parent, I noticed that the energy that I had for relationships had shifted. As a mother, I no longer had that time, and I had to have some really hard conversations and say that my priorities have shifted. I chose in some circumstances to step back, and in others, I chose to pause those relationships until I was able to return and be in those situations in a different way. Changing a relationship is sometimes the best way to move forward, but how do you know if it's time to take a step back? Close your eyes and think about a family member you have a tough relationship with. It could be a parent, a sibling, or even an extended family member. How does your body respond? Do you feel tense, stressed, nervous? Where do you feel that response? Maybe your stomach is in knots or your chest feels tight. Maybe this relationship feels overwhelming or difficult for you. When you're navigating such a heavy decision, it can be helpful to have support by your side from a mental health professional. Be kind to yourself throughout the process. Here are two options for how to handle a difficult relationship. You can pause your relationship with someone, or you may have limited contact with that person. Pausing is saying, "I need a break." Sometimes we tell the person, "What I will do now is step back from the relationship, try to gain some reflection, and return when I can." When you limit contact, you may say, "We're gonna go from talking five times a week to once a week. We will still be in regular communication, but just not as often." Having the conversation of, "I'm changing all of these things and you should know," it can be helpful, and then there are times where it can be harmful. You know your relationships better than I do, and there are some...