How to Treat Relationship Burnout

Hi, I'm Nedra Glover Tawwab, a licensed therapist and New York Times bestselling author. I specialize in relationships and setting boundaries, so I've partnered with Headspace to show you how to navigate some of the trickiest relationships in life, the ones with your family. (inspiring music) Relationship burnout happens when we have grown tired of the same problem with a person. When we feel unappreciated in our efforts in the relationship, we notice it emotionally. We notice that we're feeling frustrated, that our anger is brewing. We become more irritable, we become less tolerant of people, and they're not doing anything different. It's just we have changed how we view them or what we can tolerate in that relationship. (upbeat music) A friend of mine was feeling resentful and frustrated because after work, her mom expected her to call. My friend wanted to have space after work to decompress, to maybe listen to some music. If her mom called and she didn't answer, there was some blow up and she was constantly talking about this issue. Resentful, frustrated, angry. That's how I knew it was relationship burnout. So letting people know that this is not a good time for me can be beneficial for the relationship instead of suffering through a conversation when you really don't have the capacity to be in it. So how do you know if you're dealing with relationship burnout? Think about a family member who comes to mind right now. Now, let's see if you might be experiencing relationship burnout with this person. Answer yes or no to these questions. When you think of them, do you feel stressed, anxious, or maybe even angry? Do you find it hard to say no to them, even when you know you should? Are you constantly putting their needs ahead of your own? Do they often fall short of what you expect from them? Do you feel like all your efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated? If you said yes to most of these, there's a good chance you're dealing with relationship burnout. It's very normal to have complex feelings about our relationships, and we don't always have to feel one way about the people that we love. Many of the people that I love dearly get on my nerves sometimes, like I think that's a normal part of being in relationships. When I became a mom, I had more burnout in some of my extended family relationships because I didn't have as much capacity to show up for people in a way that I had previously. Just because you're going through relationship burnout with a family member, it doesn't mean that you don't love them. It just means that maybe you need a break right now, or maybe you need to address the issue. When you spot relationship burnout, there are a few steps you can take. Step one, take stock of your responsibilities. Grab a piece of paper or your notes app and make a list of the...