First Date Nerves

(air whooshes) (mouse clicks) (bright music) Headspace Studios. (tranquil music) Hello world. Welcome to Radio Headspace and to Tuesday. It's Dora. Continuing on with this week's topic of first, today we'll explore first dates. Now, this isn't just for romantic dates. This could be for platonic relationships too, or even taking yourself out on a solo date. Case in point, in the past year, I've been learning what it means to date myself. And even though I spend a lot of time alone, when I took myself out on a date for the first time, I was petrified. Now, it was only to the movies, but my mind had made it seem as if I was walking to the altar. I was so nervous about what other people would think and what it would look like. But more on that later. (gentle music) The point I'm trying to make is whether you're going on a solo date or meeting someone, I get it, the nerves can be quite overwhelming. If we're not mindful, there's a lot of internal dialogue that can spook us from this idea of meeting new people. There's a lot of unchecked expectations we may have around dating, which by the way is normal. However, if these expectations distract us from being in the moment, they may not be doing us any favors. Dating is meant to be fun, or so I've heard, but it can also be stressful. And this is something I can relate to. If you're anything like me, you may be quick to rush into future thinking. Is this person the one? Will they make a good parent? What if they don't want kids? Much of our predate nerves are caused by the stories we create in our minds. There's the situation itself, and then how we relate to it. And understanding that relationship is everything. So get curious about the different stories and ideals you have around dating. Try holding them with a sense of curiosity. And try your best to stay open to the possibilities that are ahead. (gentle music) So back to the story about me going on my first solo date. A goal of mine last year was to date myself more. I wanted to find the things I like to do and also the activities I've grown out of. So I decided to take myself on a movie date. Now, in my head, this sounded like a great idea. But in my body, I started to notice those familiar signs of anxiousness arise in the days leading up to my date. With those feelings began the thoughts of, what will people think? How will it look to get popcorn for one and sit in the theater alone? And then I began to create scenarios in my mind about walking into the theater and imagining everyone looking at me as I tried to find my seat, the full gambit. And what's funny is that when I got to the...