Getting Off The Escalator

(inspiring music) Headspace Studios. Hello world. It's Dora here, and you're listening to the "Sunday Scaries." Welcome back. In the last episode, we talked about how sitting with the feeling of regret instead of avoiding it can help you make better choices about your weekends. Believe it or not, there's a lot to learn from examining the feelings that arise with the Sunday Scaries. Sometimes a feeling that can be really present on Sundays when the work we gloom's large is being unsure about your career or schooling choices. So this episode is for you if you found yourself working in a job or going to school for the sake of doing it and getting it done, but not fully enjoying it. I've mentioned this before, but I haven't always worked at Headspace. In fact, my journey to becoming a meditation teacher was not a linear one. My original dream was to be a psychiatric nurse. I had always felt really passionate about mental healthcare and being of service to people. So I got on the track to make happen. I got a degree in psychology. Then I went through a four year nursing program. After that, I took some exams and voila, meet professional psychiatric nurse, Dora Kamau. Initially, I was so happy when I finally accomplished this goal. And honestly, I hadn't thought of much else the whole time I was in the program. I was just so determined to finish and get started with the rest of my life. But wow, those feelings of excitement and fulfillment disappeared quickly. After only a few months in, I realized, whoa, this was not what I expected, but I kept pushing through. I had worked to get here and I couldn't just abandon everything. I couldn't just quit. I was on an escalator going up and up and up. And if I got off it, then where would that leave me? Sometimes fear of the unknown can keep us with what's familiar. So can money and time. Investing your hard earned cash into something like school or investing years of your life into a job can really make you push pause on change, even when you're unhappy. In my case, fear kept me on this imaginary escalator for a while. Education holds high value in my family, so there was a fear of letting them down. So doing anything outside of the bachelor's, master's, PhD pipeline would bring great shame to those that I love. And I would rather force myself to do the psych nurse thing than risk losing it all for something even worse. So every day I woke up, clocked in, went home sad, and then did it all over again. But fear isn't really a good enough reason for sticking with most things, you know? A job, a romantic partner, a friendship. Staying in a place because you're scared of the alternative may just be the definition of self sabotage. Sometimes we have to get off...