How to Work with Your Anger (Instead of Letting It Burn You)

(mouse clicks) (gentle music) Headspace Studio. (gentle music) Hi, friends, it's Rosie here. Welcome to "Radio Headspace" and to Monday. There was a time when I thought I had a pretty good handle on my emotions. That is until I found myself absolutely fuming in a situation I couldn't control. I was in a rush running late for an important meeting, and I got stuck in standstill LA traffic. And because, of course, someone cut me off, no blinker, no hesitation, just straight up stole my lane like they owned it. I felt my anger rise instantly. And before I could pause, my hands gripped the wheel, and I laid on the horn, and raised that specific finger for the world to see. I probably shouldn't be saying that on this podcast because I don't condone this kind of reaction, but that's exactly what happened. And honestly, it reminded me of something I once read in a Buddhist teaching. Essentially it said, "Anger is reactive by nature." It wants urgency. It wants an outlet. But when we act from that place, we rarely get the outcome we actually want. When was the last time you felt truly angry? Not just irritated, but full on heat rising, heart pounding. Because I've been there. And today I wanna share a story about how I learned that anger isn't always the enemy, it's energy waiting to be understood. Anger is a natural reaction, but it doesn't have to control us. So I grew up in East LA, where keeping your cool wasn't just about emotional regulation, it was about survival. You had to have a handle on your anger because the wrong reaction could get you hurt. But as a teenager, I struggled with this. I had a temper, and I didn't always know what to do with it. It got bad enough that I had a run in with the law and was court ordered to attend anger management. If I'm honest, at the time, I didn't take it seriously. I walked into these classes thinking, "This is pointless. I don't need this." But our counselor, Patty, saw right through me, and there was one pivotal moment, one that stuck with me and I carry to this day. During one of our shares she said, "Anger is just energy like fire. And fire can destroy everything in its path. It all depends on how you handle it." I'd always thought of my anger as an uncontrollable force, something that just happened to me. But Patty helped me to see that I had a choice. I could let it burn me up or I could learn to work with it, to channel it into something useful. And that's the real work, right? Not getting rid of the anger, but learning how to hold it without letting it consume us. Flipping this person off, it wasn't my proudest moment, but in the heat of it, it felt necessary. Like my rage needed a physical outlet...