Sunday Regrets

Headspace Studios. (gentle music) Hi. Welcome back to "Sunday Scaries." I'm Dora. I was recently taking an Uber ride and had a really interesting conversation with the driver. He asked me what I did and we ended up talking about this show and the meaning of the phrase "Sunday Scaries." Now it turned out that he shared similar sentiments, but with a little bit of a twist. He doesn't get the Sunday Scaries because the thoughts of the week ahead aren't really anxiety-inducing. In fact, he shared that having goals is what motivates him the most. However, he does get Sunday Regrets. When I asked him what that was, he explained that on certain Sundays, he'll feel regretful for not utilizing his weekends properly, for not being as productive as he should have been. When my driver described this feeling to me, what immediately came to mind was the phrase "guilty pleasure." Like where does guilt come from? And why do the things that we find pleasurable get associated with guilt? We should be able to chill guilt-free. Resting and having fun on the weekends can be good for you. It may even be what you're needing so that you can be more productive during the week. It's like swimming. You hold your breath and go as fast as you can, but every so often you have to come up for air in order to keep going. Rest on the weekends can work like this too. They help keep you swimming in a way. The one thing we often overlook with regret is its ability to shine a light on what we value. We may regret not being productive, but we may also regret not having spent time with family if we do decide to work. In fact, author Daniel Pink who writes about work, behavior, and creativity identifies connection regret as the regret that can arise when we miss out or neglect important connections. I mean, if you think about it, either way regret is bound to pop up. It has this alluring ability to create a captivating mental story and can instantly transport us back to the moment that we're so fixated on. However, as with any emotion, when regret shows up, it's trying to tell us something. If we can learn to relate to it in this way, as carrying useful information and insight, then we're more likely to take a minute and listen to what regret might be trying to tell us. This gives us the opportunity to work with regret in a more skillful way and begin to shift our relationship to it. So maybe you're like the Uber driver and you feel like you should have gotten more done this weekend. If that's the case, I encourage you to write down a list of things that you didn't get done that you wish you had. Then rate the things on your list. One for things that are top priority, two for things that can...