Accepting Growth with Shan Boodram

When it comes to accepting growth and change in relationships these can inherently be scary words, but if instead we reframe these as the point of relationships to get together with someone else who challenges us towards our greatest potential, then we can see them through a whole different perspective. (upbeat music) Hi, and welcome to Headspace. I'm shan Boodram. And today we're gonna be talking about growing and changing alongside your partner. Truth is we are all gonna be faced with change in our life whether we're expecting it or embracing it or not. Resisting change can absolutely feel easier than accepting it. But we have to remind ourselves in those moments where we wanna hold on to what is that the what can be, is only possible through those growing paints, through those transitions. All right, let's talk about change, external and internal. An external change is something that requires an action from someone else outside of yourself in order for it to be effective. So an external change could be something like a boundary with somebody else. It could be about the way that you communicate with someone else, how much you have sex with someone else, how little you have sex with somebody else, or it could be things like a career change or a need for a change of environment. An internal change is one that really just needs you, your compassion and your sign off in order to go through that transformation period. A lot of these have to do with mental health and mental wellness acceptance with coming to terms with who we are and what we need. Now, mind you, a lot of change has to be internal first. You've gotta get right with you and establish a need from within before you can express what you need on the outside. When it comes to coping with change, you can feel off balance. And often when we're off balance we wanna lean on somebody else in order to get stability. But what happens when that person is also off balance and trying to find stability? This is where mutuality can really come into play because two off balance people can definitely put each other on the right course through leaning on each other, but you have to come to a mutual agreement about what each person needs to feel like they are in their balance. And oftentimes those can be very different things. And mutuality again, is a beautiful tool in relationship that doesn't say me first, or you first but let's do this together. This is where vulnerability is going to save you, coming to your partner and saying, I'm afraid right now, I'm uncertain right now. And in order to get through this really trying time, I'm gonna require you to lean on a little bit and here's what I need. And then in return, ask the question. I know that you're also being impacted during this time. So what...