Ask Dora - Reconciling With the Past

I'm Dora Kamau and I'm a meditation teacher here at Headspace. This is Ask Dora, an opportunity for you to ask me anything you'd like about meditation, mindfulness, or just whatever's on your mind. Today, I'll be talking about how we can mindfully reconcile our past identities with our present selves. (lighthearted music) Our question today comes from Ben, who writes, "I grew up in a troubled household. "It wasn't until I moved out "that I started to heal and strive for a better life. "Although I live a healthier, happier life today, "I can't help but think I'm the person I was years ago. "Do you have any advice "on disconnecting from the identity of your past?" Hi Ben, this is a beautiful question. First, I wanna commend you for moving out, striving for a better life, and being happier and healthier on your own terms. It can be challenging to leave those environments, especially when it comes to our own family. I can definitely relate to this in that who I was before my meditation practice is completely different from who I am now. Before, I was more reactive and less responsive. I was quick to anger and I spent a lot of time outside of my body. Meditation truly helped me come back home to myself. So here is what has been helpful for me and maybe it'll be helpful for you as well. First, be mindful of the different thoughts and feelings that are connected to your past. If you aren't aware, those thoughts and feelings can dictate who we are in the present moment. So just notice when your mind gets distracted, either by memories from your past or even any future thoughts and see if you can bring yourself back to the present moment. Next, try being compassionate to who you were before. And the idea that if we knew better back then, we would've done better, but the reality is, we didn't. So it's important to remind yourself of that and send love, kindness, and compassion to those different parts of yourself. Self-forgiveness is also an important practice of self-compassion. Sometimes there can be shame and guilt present when we decide to move forward and we can feel bad about leaving those that we love behind. So, try practicing self-forgiveness. This allows us to accept what has happened and continue to grow and move forward. Our past has a lot to inform us about ourselves and others and if we completely disconnect from who we were, we're bound to repeat the same lessons. So instead of disconnecting from that past identity, we can integrate the lessons that we've learned along the way, the ones that have made us who we are right now. Every part of our life serves a purpose, so take time to reflect on the past you and see if there's anything that you've learned since then or maybe even identify a few pivotal moments in your life that have...