Ask Rosie - Improving Your Relationships

Relationships, specifically, are the sauce to life. I think it's really important for us to always use mindful ways to interact with the people that we love. So I don't remember what this was pertaining to. What was I talking about? (transition beeping) Hello, everybody, and welcome back to "Ask Rosie". I'm here today to answer your questions about relationships, my most favorite topic. I like that I say every one of my topics is my favorite, (laughing) because they really are. Here's a question from one of our members, "I'm reaching out because I am trying to better my reactions, especially bad ones." Don't we all? (laughing) "I've been married for almost a year, and it's been a wonderful experience of learning more about myself as a couple. It's hard for me to accept criticism and I can be very reactive. I'd like to improve and unlearn this trait so that I can have better communication with my husband. Thank you in advance for any help you can provide." For me, this question is very, it really hits close to home, because I've been in a relationship for almost 20 years and we've gone through all the good, the bad and the ugly. And I think that one of the ways that mindfulness has helped me with being too reactive has been, there's just a few seconds that give you a moment of clarity before you're going to have a reaction. I know that for a lot of us that are deeply passionate people, that's why we're so reactive, I think that most of that is just coming from a place of wanting to be seen and heard. Especially if it's somebody that you love, you want the person to see, hear and understand you. And there are some times when maybe you're not feeling that that's the case and you might have a very abrupt reaction. One of the techniques that I love to use before I react and it's been such a staple to my interactions with loved ones is to HALT. It's an acronym, and it's designed for you to ask yourself four simple questions. Are you hungry? Are you angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired? And so a lot of the times, if you are one, or two, or all four of those things, it can sometimes create a really strong reaction. Techniques like this can really help you bring more mindfulness into your relationships. I think they're really great ways for us to take a moment to stop and just acknowledge where we are. And it really creates for better relationships, not only with your partners and the people that you love, but with yourself. I think it's so important for us, as just conscious beings, to feel emotions, to experience our experience, and not try to push feelings away or to minimize things just because we have all these tools to be on this neutral, balanced playing field. So feel your feelings,...