Ask Rosie - Setting Boundaries Compassionately

Boundaries can really be a difficult thing to do. I know this is gonna sound a bit intense, but they really helped save my life. Had I not established boundaries with people that were affecting my life negatively, I would've never gotten on the path to becoming a mindfulness and meditation teacher. I'm gonna go through some of these questions and hopefully I can help some of you out there set your own boundaries. This one's from Sarah, and she's asking how do I set boundaries in a kind and compassionate way? Great question. I think a lot of the times we think of boundaries as like a firm wall, right? We might think of boundaries as being something really harsh, and I think for a lot of us that wanna create a boundary in a loving, compassionate way, we don't know how to do it. I think a lot of the times it's harder for us to set boundaries with people that are close to us because we're more apt to let things go and not worry so much until it becomes a problem and then you realize, oh, I have to set a boundary. And sometimes we're just so fed up that we become really reactive. So I think a good way to avoid that is to set boundaries right at the gate. I love using good and loving, compassionate language when I'm setting a boundary especially with a loved one. I actually had this happen not too long ago with a friend of mine. We were having some differing opinions about how to deal with certain situations, and I was trying to figure out a way to just tell her to stop tagging me and stuff. I love her. I wanna stay updated on her and her family but she just kept tagging me in things I didn't wanna be tagged in. And I was trying to figure out a good way to compassionately tell her that I just I didn't wanna be tagged. And so we went to coffee and well, she had coffee, I had tea. I have to make sure that I specify that, because it's very important. I just sat down and I said, hey, I really love that you want to involve me in your life, and I really feel that you want me to really see everything that you're learning about and that you're excited about. And I'm currently not really excited about the same things and I totally support you and what you're doing and I love you so much. But can you please stop tagging me because I'm just a little overwhelmed with a lot of information right now and I just don't want you to think that I'm not supporting you. Think about all the ways that somebody could be offended, right? How would I feel if somebody gave me a boundary and said to me, I want you to stop tagging me in the pictures you post....