Who needs a plus one. 5 ways to fly solo with confidence this holiday season.

Because much of the fun (and potential horror) of social situations can be that so much is left up to chance—the line to get into the venue or bar is unspeakably long or you can’t find a friend in a crowded room—it can be helpful to take advantage of what you can steer. For instance, wear clothes that you won’t have to constantly adjust and in which you feel like yourself—this can help combat self-consciousness, Dembling says. So, too, does determining how you get acclimated to the event. If you’re attending a few holiday parties without a plus one, it may be helpful to get there early before the room fills up, which can make it easier to approach new people. “When it comes to parties, some introverts want to get to the party early before people get there to get comfortable and chat with the host,” Dembling says. “I, on the other hand, like to get to the party a little later when people are already distracted. So I try to get in there and get a drink and take my time becoming comfortable in the space before I start interacting.”

Jodi Aman, counselor and author of “You 1 Anxiety 0: Win Back Your Life From Fear And Panic,” suggests that just identifying the things that give you anxiety about social situations can help one feel more in control.

One of the easiest things to control is the duration of time spent at an event. Walking in knowing you can leave at any moment—or staying longer than you’d planned—can be empowering; the beauty is that you can change your mind and hit the road at any time. “It’s a lot easier to say yes to things if you assure yourself that when you’ve had enough you can leave,” says Dembling.

Aman suggests using a highly attuned capacity for observation as an advantage. “You’re up in your head thinking ‘Everyone’s looking at me,’ but if you actually watch people, you realize that everyone is in their own world,” she says.

Especially during the holiday season, when families and extended networks of people with varying backgrounds, perspectives, and opinions gather, putting on a brave face can help trick you into manifesting real confidence. If you think of it as a performance, the character you’ve embodied can become second nature.

When all else fails, fake it ‘til you make it. “The more confident you pretend to be, the more at ease you put other people, so it begins this cycle of comfort building for everybody,” Dembling says.

here’s some solace in accepting that most people have walked into a packed room, eyes darting, looking for a familiar face. And even if you trip and fall making your way from the concession stand to your seat in the movie theater, chances are the people who witnessed it will likely forget about it within moments. To get out of a negative spiral, Aman recommends countering thoughts with practicality—no one is judging me right now—and to avoid trying to “figure it out” when it comes to why you feel anxious. Additionally, Emerson suggests savoring the time alone and how putting it into perspective can allow you to enjoy the moment.“People may even be envious that you get some 'you time'.”

By surveying the room, you can confirm that no one has noticed you’re attending a concert alone, and you might catch some interesting interactions from afar, too. People-watching can easily transition into an introduction: Emerson suggests breaking the ice with honesty and interest can help elicit a positive reaction. “Entering a social situation alone is tough, so I would advise approaching someone and saying, ‘I’m here alone, can I join you?’” Emerson says. “Once the ice is broken, focus on the person you are with—ask them about themselves and relate when you can. Other people love talking about themselves so you will be on safe ground if you ask questions.”

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