Here’s what happens to your body when you’re lonely

You probably know that your body produces more cortisol when you’re stressed, so it won’t surprise you to know that cortisol levels are lower when you’re able to socialize. Studies show that those who complain (or, more gently put, share their issues) with a friend about their problems feel physical relief after commiserating. When you aren’t bottling it up and are instead able to talk about your petty problems with a co-worker or a friend, you’re less physically stressed. An excess of cortisol is something your system might not handle well, so talk out your issues with a friend before you bottle up the problems and get overwhelmed.

While the hormone cortisol fights inflammation, the fight-or-flight response that loneliness causes drives your body to produce norepinephrine, which actually elevates your white blood cell production and shuts down your bodies natural viral defenses. It’s a sort of vicious cycle: you’re stressed and your cortisol levels are elevated, but you’re a little panicky, so your body is less sensitive to the beneficial, inflammation-lowering aspect of cortisol. In the long-term, lonely people are more likely to fall victim to issues associated with chronic inflammation: cancer, sensitivity to viruses, and infection, to name a few. Try exercising in a gym, taking a workout class, or just go for a jog in the park to be social and healthy at the same damn time.

In 2012, researchers in the Netherlands found that just the idea of being ignored socially was enough to make a person’s body temperature drop. Furthermore, the same lab discovered that just the memory of being socially excluded is enough to make people feel colder. Simply put, loneliness can give you the chills. As those researchers (and grandmothers around the world) would suggest, that cold chill of loneliness can be remedied by both the figurative, psychological warmth of social interaction and actual physical warmth that mimics it, like a cup of hot coffee held between your hands. The mind-body connection between physical warmth and the feeling of being loved is real—and good for Starbucks’ business.

Cuffing season is what happens when temperatures drop in the fall and winter months and the number of engagements, relationships, and casual hookups in your social circles rise tenfold. This phenomenon is mostly social—as Fusion’s consultations with experts note, the cultural pressure to be in a relationship around the holidays is more to blame than biology—but the impulse to rush into a relationship does have a biochemical root in loneliness. When you’re lonely, you miss out on the dopamine that’s produced when you’re physically close to another person. That lack of “warmth” will leave you cold and craving, and so you might rush into a codependent, less-than-stable connection, in the absence of something more timely and sturdy.