7 ways to mentally bounce back after losing your job

But the grief, it hit in waves when I least expected it, like when a friend took a great new job. Or when I received my first unemployment check. I was in mourning; not over a traditional relationship, but over the loss of my job. Experts believe feelings of grief after a job loss are completely valid, for a variety of reasons. For many of us, losing a job doesn’t only represent a loss of income, but also a core part of our identities. In a 1998 study, Richard H. Price, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research, examined just how profound an effect the loss of a job can have on one’s mental health. “Some people have jobs, some people have careers, and some people have callings,” he says. “When they lose that, they lose a lot.” Unsurprisingly, that feeling may be magnified for those who invest a lot in their jobs, whether that be through time, education, or energy.

In short, we tend to invest so much in our work that it can shape our identities in ways we may not even realize. And the simple act of losing your routine—morning coffee before heading to work, chatting with coworkers, working lunches, and even meetings—can create a void. “Most people don’t realize how important routine can be in our lives,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of “How to be Happy Partners: Working it out Together”. “The enormity of this loss can be a total surprise, and therefore even more upsetting.” As a media professional, I’ve often considered this as the industry is regularly in flux. As in many other industries, a traditional work day may not describe the 9-to-5 of generations past. A typical day may involve waking up to scroll social media and scan emails that could affect the upcoming work day. Add to that the fact that more employees are nearly always accessible—using laptops to work anywhere, emailing anytime from smartphones—and it’s no wonder that a sense of loss can be so profound. The effects can be even worse for those who are already predisposed to feelings of depression and anxiety, Price says. In addition to the loss of the job, feelings of rejection and hopelessness can creep in as job seekers look for additional employment. The loss of income can mean the potential loss of a house, car, insurance, and other expenses. Even in a home where a spouse or partner provides income, families may be living on less, which may also cause discord. These types of stress can begin to feel overwhelming. “If it’s too strong, anxiety and depression can paralyze you,” Price says.

Another source of anxiety is what Price and his colleagues call the double burden of unemployment. “In job search, it is not only finding a job and applying, it is also dealing with what may in many cases be multiple rejections before you have even the possibility of a new job,” he says. For many, looking for work can span over six or more months; it’s important to acknowledge that there may also be many rejections before landing a new job. It can be beneficial to practice resilience to avoid feelings of depression or a cycle of anxiety that could make it even more difficult to find a new job. With a concrete plan and a few coping techniques, you can take care of your mental health even after a devastating job loss. Here’s how: