Love meditation

When it comes to cultivating and strengthening relationships with the people we love, there aren’t many factors within our control. We cannot control how others will think or act toward us. What we can control is how we relate and respond to them. By meditating, we create the space and conditions in our mind that are conducive to developing healthy, kind, and compassionate relationships.

If you are ready to begin focusing on strengthening your relationships with your loved ones, try this quick meditation that uses the visualization technique, in which you focus on a person or something more abstract to hold your attention.

Take a moment to settle your body into a comfortable position. Open your eyes into a soft focus, becoming aware of the space around you. Breathe in deeply through the nose and out through the mouth. Choose an out breath to close the eyes and allow the breath to return to its natural rhythm. Settle into the space around you and become aware of the physical senses and sounds within that space.

At this time, bring the mind back to the body. Gently begin scanning the body from head to toe to get a sense of how it feels. Acknowledge any strong underlying emotions and moods. As you become more aware of any sensations and feelings, be clear in your mind about the intentions of this practice — by doing it, you can potentially improve the lives of those around you. Gently bring your attention back to the body and breath and rest your mind wherever you feel the rise and fall sensation the strongest.

Now, it’s time to lean into the visualization. Imagine a speck of sunlight in the middle of your chest. Maintaining this image should not be difficult. Simply notice it. Next, remember a time when you’ve done something that’s been appreciated by another person. Remind yourself how that person looked, or what they said in acknowledgment. Remind yourself of the feeling experienced as a result of a simple act of kindness. With that feeling, allow the speck to expand in every direction, increasing to the size of a small marble ball, then a golf ball, and so on. At this point, let go of the act of kindness image. Just stay with the present visualization and breath. Once you’re ready, let go of that image and let the mind rest in that space and do whatever it wants to do. Gently bring your attention back into the feeling of weight in the body. Open your eyes and pause for a moment before returning to your day.

To begin a short meditation, seat yourself in a comfortable position on the floor or on a chair. Start out your practice by looking forward with eyes open while taking in the space around you. Once you are ready, inhale deeply through the nose and exhale through the mouth. On the exhale, close the eyes and allow the breath to return to its natural rhythm. Bring your attention to your weight. What does the body feel like pressing down? How do your feet feel against the floor? How do your hands feel against the legs?

Bring attention back to your body, and begin scanning from the top of the head toward the toes. Just observe the subtleties of your body and breath without adjusting anything. In your own time, count the breaths as they pass, until you get to 10, then repeat. As distractions start entering your mind in the form of thoughts and feelings, acknowledge them and return to the breath. When you’re ready, allow your mind 10 seconds to let go of all focus and not worry about distractions. Let them all come.

Once you’re ready, bring attention back to the body. Become more familiar with the space around you and the feeling of your body against the chair or floor. Notice the sounds and smells. In your own time, gently open your eyes and notice how you’re feeling. Remind yourself that these patterns of thought build up over a long period of time. Acknowledging and accepting them is a process.