How to get motivated

Motivation is what drives people to act. It’s a combination of external and internal forces that activate a certain type of behavior.

Has someone ever tried to motivate you by suggesting you stay positive? Have you ever told someone a goal of yours — like to run a 10k — and had them respond with something like “you can do it!”? Or maybe to hype yourself up to do a practice run, you try to fill your head with positive self-talk: “This is going to be easy, I’m super-fast.”

Positivity isn’t a bad thing. But trying to combat self-doubt or a lack of motivation with relentless positivity will likely result in you just adding more chatter to an already busy mind. You might be further exhausting and demotivating yourself as well, because now you have to hold tightly to those positive thoughts while continuing to shut down the thoughts of “I can’t do this, I’m tired, I don’t want to.”

In the book Rethinking Positive Thinking, psychologist Gabriele Oettingen explains why equating motivation with positivity can be problematic.

While positivity can be a contributor to motivation, it’s not the sum total of what motivation is. Oettingen’s research involves having two groups of students visualize their upcoming weeks. The first group imagined that their week would be perfect — they’d get good grades on their assignments, meet new friends, and have a great time. The second group was asked to visualize their week in a realistic way, noting what they hoped to achieve and also what they were worried about. In the end, the second group felt more energized and accomplished more than the first. Those results, published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, led Oettingen to identify another factor that is required alongside a positive mental attitude in order to achieve goals: mental contrasting.

Mental contrasting, explains Oettingen, is the ability to have a goal in mind, imagine obstacles getting in the way of that goal, and still continue to try to achieve it, despite the possibility of failure. That basis in realism is what gives people the follow-through to keep on going, even when times get hard (and mile five is feeling impossible).

It’s similar to how meditation works: by moving beyond thought and finding a feeling of acceptance, you can engage in life without being as controlled by errant thoughts and feelings; whether good, bad, or challenging.

In summary, motivation is a combination of focus and intent in deciding to do something, and the persistence to see it through, despite setbacks. If you’re struggling to figure out how to motivate yourself, you’ll need to start by asking which of these aspects of motivation is giving you trouble.

Do you not have a clear goal in mind? What’s the reason behind why a given goal is important to you, or why you’re prioritizing it over something else? Reflecting beforehand on what your motivation is — why you are doing something — often means that you’ll be stronger and clearer in setting the intention. Because each time you slip or lose momentum, you simply have to remind yourself why you set out to do something in the first place.

If you are already clear on why you want to do something, where do you get caught up in the execution of it? Is it the fear of failure? Does the physical or mental discomfort of it all turn you off? Do you lack a clear visualization of what achieving it would look like?

Sit with the answers to these questions and consider what they tell you. And know that whatever it is you’re setting out to do, you have the innate skill to do it. The human mind — with its doubts, resistance, excuses, and storylines of old — will always find a reason not to do something. It is for you to know those patterns and instead trust your limitless potential. By making sure you have your intention clear and your follow-through set, you’ll be able to do it again.